Two beautiful brown eyes
Looking over at me
Through a whole continent
For the very last time.

You never know when it’s going to be the last time
You speak to someone.
Or at least, you hope such a time
Will never come.

So one day, you just wake up
To a vibration from your phone
Only to see that the man
You’ve loved the most
Tells you he’s seeing someone new.

You get mad. You try to play it cool.
You try to convince yourself
You were over him anyway,
But deep down, your heart shatters
Like a wall of glass.

Those tiny pieces of glass
Start tearing you apart
From the inside, and you...
You just send a mad text reply.

But one thing I love the most about myself
Is that I have a pure and kind heart.
I can’t hate him,
Even though I wish I could.

Days went by, and I felt the urge to say sorry.
I know he deserves love too.
Too many months of delusion
Believing I’d be the only one to love him in the end
Have passed.

So, I texted him.
I told him I’m sorry
And that I’m seeing someone too.
In fact, I do have a new boyfriend.

Hours went by with no reply,
And I almost forgot I texted him.

But that very same night,
While I was spending time with my new man,
I checked my phone
Because he went to the other room.
And saw his very last message to me.

I knew it was the end.
My heart shattered a second time.
I knew it was the last time
I’d ever see his name on my phone.

I sat on the sofa,
Almost crying in my new boyfriend’s arms,
For a man who had just broken my heart.

Isn’t it strange how comforting it feels
To cuddle with another man
While still processing the past?

I’ve only heard two men tell me they love me.
One of them I hated from the bottom of my heart.
The other broke up with me four days later.

But I never heard
"I love you" from him
The only man I ever wished
Would say those words.

Two beautiful brown eyes
Are now looking at and falling in love
With a woman who isn’t me.

Two beautiful brown eyes
Will probably say "I love you"
Before his mouth does.

Two beautiful brown eyes
Will hold her hand
And tell her she’s beautiful.
And she probably is.

You never knew this, but
I’ve always been afraid of the dark.
Ever since I was a little girl.
And because of that,
I asked my new boyfriend
To spend the night at my place.
I didn’t want to be alone that night.
I needed to feel loved by a man.

It was a fine night.
I slept well.
The worst thing I did that night
Was touch my new boyfriend’s chest,
Imagining it was yours.
But I felt horrible.
I stopped myself,
Realizing this was the most self-destructive thing
I had ever done to myself.

We woke up. My new man went home.
I started drinking my morning coffee.
And I said to myself:
"This is the last time I’ll drink my coffee
Thinking of you."

I have to close this chapter of my book.
And open a new one.
It’s a new year. A new chapter.
I have a new man to disappoint me.
I have a new cup to drink my coffee from.

Honestly, I’d rather start a new book
Not just a new chapter.
So, I closed this one. I locked it.
And I put the key in my nightstand,
To be forgotten.
Because I never use that nightstand.

And if I ever start thinking about you again,
Please remind me to set that nightstand on fire.