Oh my oh my the weed again

Made me paralysed 

Like stopped in time 

But time goes on 

I am stopped 

The events are not 

Every time it goes same 

Paralysing apathy 

is fighting with my will to do and be

And every time I ask myself 

Oh, my oh my 

Why I blaze this spiff again 

When is all the same? 

And I know as I make a promise high again

I shouldn’t blaze it as it goes the same again 

Anxiety, depression, self blame, insomnia, and all 

Are dancing

And I’m the opposite of whole

Now the fact that I express myself in writing 

Makes me feel like crying slightly 

As for years now, I know the answer 

But why so  weak, why a stranger 

To the promises you make 

To the new, allegedly desired self